Why Do You Need to Explore BDSM Sex With Your Partner?

Whether you’re looking for one-night stands, a short-term fling or a committed relationship that incorporates BDSM, it’s important to have open communication and understand your own limits. This includes discussing your hard and soft limits.

It’s also helpful to try out new things gradually. For example, start with erotic spanking and then move on to light bondage or sensory play.

1. It’s a great way to bond

BDSM enthusiasts often talk about the sense of bonding they experience when performing sadomasochistic acts together. They describe a feeling of deep intimacy, closeness and connection that’s hard to find in other ways. In fact, a few studies have shown that engaging in kink can help couples feel closer to one another, even outside of sex.

While many people are hesitant to explore BDSM because of the stigma associated with the practice, therapists and sexuality educators are quick to point out that this type of kink is not only normal, but it can also be beneficial for relationships. For example, a recent study found that couples who engaged in a variety of kinky sexual activities were less likely to experience high levels of cortisol, a stress hormone.

Some kink experts recommend starting with sensory play like feather ticklers or ice cubes before moving on to more intense experiences like handcuffs or rope bondage. They also advise against using drugs or alcohol before participating in BDSM, as it can make it harder to give consent and can cloud your judgment.

Before attempting any kinky acts, it’s a good idea to have a discussion with your partner about their preferences and boundaries. For example, some partners choose to use a “green-yellow-red” system that lets them know what they’re comfortable with and what their limits are.

2. It’s a great way to explore your sexuality

A lot of couples want to get more kinky, but the fear of going too far or hurting their relationship keeps them from exploring. BDSM requires explicit discussion of each person’s needs, boundaries, and fantasies.

There are lots of different fetishes in the kink world, including bondage/discipline, submission/dominance, and sadism/masochism. But a lot of the common themes are psychological rather than physical, and many people can enjoy a scene without touching at all. For example, a sexy couple might use blindfolds, massage candles, (tingling) lube, and tickle feather wands in their bedroom play, but they could also use ice cubes, cucumbers, or even the bathroom sink to make their experience feel more exotic.

Regardless of how a couple explores their kink, the most important thing is that everyone feels enthusiastic consent. That can be a written contract, a verbal agreement, or even something as simple as agreeing to speak a safeword during a sexual act that would signal the need for a break. It’s also a good idea for partners to work out an efficient way to communicate during a kinky scene, such as by using a traffic light system with “green” for continuing, “yellow” to slow down the pace of an activity, and “red” to stop completely. This is a way for each partner to be clear about their own feelings and limits in a situation that might not be easily explained during the heat of the moment.

3. It’s a great way to explore your relationship dynamics

If you want to explore BDSM with your partner, be sure to communicate openly and honestly. Talk about what you each want to explore and set limits before the play starts. For example, if one of you doesn’t like being choked, that should be a boundary agreed upon ahead of time. You should also agree on a safe word, which is something you can use to stop the scene if it gets uncomfortable or unsafe. This could be anything from “red” to “mixtape.” The important thing is that you use a safe word that is not sexual in nature and that both of you know what it means.

One of the main benefits of BDSM is that it can help to strengthen relationships. Research has shown that partners who participate in sadomasochistic scenes with each other experience increased intimacy and bonding. This is thought to be because these activities engage the same part of the brain as sex does.

Another reason to consider BDSM is that it can be a great way to get out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself. This is especially true if you’re exploring more intense forms of kink, such as advanced bondage techniques or using whips. If you’re interested in trying BDSM, it’s important to do your research and find a class or kinkshop that can teach you the basics.

4. It’s a great way to explore your sexuality with a partner

Many BDSM enthusiasts have an interest in spanking or bondage, but don’t be afraid to start with less intense explorations like restraint play. It’s important that you and your partner discuss the kinds of roles you are both drawn to before trying a new erotic experience, as it may be uncomfortable for one or both of you if you jump straight to the hardcore stuff without first easing into it. It also helps to be specific about what kind of erotic energy you’re hoping for; an erotic spanking can feel tender and sweet or dominating and raunchy, depending on how it’s delivered.

If you’re just starting out, it can be fun to browse BDSM gear online or at your local sex shop together and see what turns you on. You can even make your own BDSM tools using items you already have around the house; a cotton t-shirt or pair of stockings can make an excellent blindfold, while a wooden kitchen spoon and a necktie or pair of handcuffs can become the perfect prop for spanking or other forms of bondage.

It’s also important to be honest about your feelings and boundaries with your partner, as well as with others you might engage in BDSM with. Setting’soft’ and ‘hard’ limits for yourself can help you learn what kind of kinks you’re drawn to and what kinds of experiences arouse you, and it will also keep you safe. You can also try exploring fantasy scenarios together as a way to build trust and excitement about your encounters.