What to Experiment in BDSM Sex

If you’re ready to give bondage and kink a try, the first thing to do is talk to your partner. Make sure they know what to expect, and start slowly introducing them to BDSM.

It’s important to remember that BDSM isn’t just about pain, and can be extremely hot when both partners are into it.

1. Ties

You can experiment with a variety of ties when performing BDSM sex, whether you have a fancy pair of handcuffs or a soft rope. But the first thing you and your partner need to talk about is what kind of kinks are on your hard yes, no, and maybe lists. “Having a conversation outside of the bedroom is really important so your partner knows what you’re interested in,” says trauma specialist Jimanekia Eborn, host of Trauma Queen podcast. “Then you can set up a safe word. A safe word is like a golden buzzer that lets your partner know that you’re OK with pausing the action.”

The classic bondage position, hog-tying, can be pretty intense. Have your partner lie on their back and open their legs. Then tie their arms to their ankles and bind their hands together (you can use bondage tape if knots aren’t your partner’s forte). You can then go to town on their mouth, hands, or penetration. If that’s too hardcore, you can always try a spreader bar instead, which makes it easier to get around your partner’s knees.

2. Blindfolds

Another kinky tool that can add a lot of fun to your BDSM play is blindfolds. They are simple to use and can bring a huge sense of intrigue and anticipation to any scene. Whether you want to tease and tantalize your partner by kissing them all over, whispering dirty talk into their ear or tickling their erogenous zones with a feather, a blindfold can be a great way to create sexual tension and arousal.

Choosing the right blindfold for you is important. There are a variety of styles and materials to choose from, some with lace or buckles for an extra sensual look and feel. It is also important to consider the level of light blocking, as this is a big factor in sensory deprivation.

It is also important to remember that when playing BDSM, it is best to take things slowly and be open with your partner. Always keep communication in mind and be sure to set up a safeword if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Remember that the goal is to enjoy your experience, so don’t put yourself in any position where you could be injured or hurt.

3. Ropes

A popular BDSM practice is bondage, and there are many ways that ropes can be used to create a kinky bond. Some of these techniques, such as restraints, can be intense. This is why it’s important for both partners to have enthusiastic consent and set clear boundaries about what they’re comfortable with.

Adding impact play to bondage can also heighten sensations. For example, a flogger or whip can be added to the bondage and stimulate erotic areas of the body. Alternatively, a vibrator can be used to stimulate the clit while the person is tied up.

Reverend Rucifer suggests beginners start with simple ties like a Somerville Bowline and progress to more advanced riggers, including futomomo, varying chest harnesses, munters, and double-column ties. She also recommends a hog tie variation for sexual play, as it offers easy access to the genitals and anus.

Ropes are a great way to experiment with a wide variety of kinks and can add new dimensions to your relationships. However, you should always keep safety in mind and establish an agreed upon safe word to use when uncomfortable with a situation.

4. Restraints

Bondage play is another kinky aspect that can be fun and stimulating. It can involve restraints like rope, leather straps, binders, ties and handcuffs. These limit a submissive’s senses and freedom of movement to create power play and heighten sexual stimulation.

As you experiment with these props and tools, it is essential to communicate openly with your partner about what kinks you are exploring and any other desires you have. This way, both partners can agree on the boundaries of a scene and come up with a safe word to use in case things get too intense.

In terms of bondage, a great position for beginners is the mark position. In this position, the submissive lays on their back and opens their legs so they can be bound. A Dominant can then bind their ankles to their hands and hog tie them in this classic bondage position. As a rule of thumb, it’s important to keep in mind that pain is often a necessary part of the process when it comes to bondage. Experiencing pain releases a rush of endorphins that can make the experience even more euphoric. It’s the same feeling a runner gets when they push themselves past their comfort zones or a foodie might feel when they try the hottest spice on their tongue.

5. Feather ticklers

Feather ticklers are a great way to add a different sensation to your sexual play. They can be used on their own, or in conjunction with other kink toys to heighten the experience. They are perfect for beginners or those who want to introduce a new level of sensual pleasure.

You can use them to lightly caress a sensitive area of your partner’s body, or you can make strokes that travel across the entire body. Play with the pressure and speed of the strokes. Start with a light touch and then increase the pressure as you tease your lover.

If you’re feeling adventurous, try combining your feather tickler with other kink toys like blindfolds or ropes to enhance the experience. Just remember to always practice safe BDSM with your partner, communicate, and have a safe word. It’s also important to keep your toys clean and sanitised after each use. Toys like a feather tickler can collect bacteria and dust from the environment if you’re not careful. Keeping them clean and sanitised is crucial to their lifespan.