How to Look For a BDSM Sex Partner

BDSM is a difficult subject to understand, especially for people who are new to it. Submission, sadism and masochism are all forms of kink that involve deriving pleasure from pain, suffering or humiliation.

Make sure you talk to your potential partner about their fetishes, soft and hard limits and specific preferences. This will help ensure that both of you are comfortable with the play.

1. Fetlife

Fetlife is a social networking site that has a focus on BDSM, kink, and other non-mainstream sexual interests. This makes it a great place to meet people who are interested in kinky play and D/s relationships.

It may take a little more work than searching for a vanilla partner, but finding someone who is into kinky play is not impossible. Just be sure to be very open about what you are looking for and set boundaries. Make sure you have a safe word that can be used to stop the play in case things start getting uncomfortable.

This BDSM website has a high female to male ratio and offers free chat, photo sharing, and a variety of communication tools. It also has forums and a search function that can help you find a match. You can even search by location to find a local Dom/sub. You can also join a group for kink-oriented events in your area, such as a munch. Developing relationships in your local BDSM community is the safest way to find a kinky lover.

2. Traditional dating sites

If you want to try something different, there are several traditional dating sites that offer kinky services. These sites are great places to meet people who are into kink and might be looking for someone to play with, too. Some of these sites include Literotica, Adult Friend Finder, and BDSM Date.

If a BDSM relationship is handled properly, it can be as healthy as a traditional one. To make sure you’re not being abused, be sure to do your research before meeting up with anyone in person. It is also a good idea to chat with multiple doms before you decide to date.

Another option is to use a dating site like Fetlife, which is specifically geared towards people who love kink and BDSM. This site will help you find a dom who is right for you. Be sure to read through the forum discussions and search for kinks that are important to you. Also, don’t forget to set a safe word with your partner. This will let them know you’re uncomfortable and give you an opportunity to pause the scene.

3. Munches

Although it’s not as glamorous as giant kink conferences and sexy play parties, the munch is still a very important part of the BDSM community. Munches are social gatherings of people who have a common interest in kink and usually take place in public, providing a safe environment to meet new people. Munches can vary a lot in what is talked about, but the general goal is to be a fun way to get acquainted with other members of the community. Some munches are specifically for people of a certain age or a specific aspect of kink, but most are open to everyone.

Finding a BDSM munch is relatively easy, as many of these events are advertised on sites like Fetlife. All you have to do is check out the listings and see what’s available in your area. Be sure to follow the safety rules of any event, especially a kink munch, and remember that consent is key. It’s perfectly fine to ask for play, but it’s always better to be polite and respectful about it.

4. Meetup groups

The BDSM community often meets in person through munches, casual group meetings where new members can meet each other and get comfortable with the kink lifestyle. These can be arranged through various apps and online communities or even through the regular meetings of local kink groups. If you find a good match, be sure to establish safe words and boundaries before starting any play sessions.

If you’re not comfortable meeting in person, you can also look for a BDSM sex partner on sites like Reddit. The site is known for cat forums and endless “Am I the asshole?” posts, but there are a number of NSFW sites, including r/BDSMpersonals, which can be used to find kink-friendly people.

When looking for a dominant boyfriend, be aware that the process may take some time. Take your time to research the kink scene, and understand your own preferences. Make a list of your fetishes and your soft and hard limits, and communicate these clearly to your potential play partners so that you’re playing with someone who respects your needs and boundaries.

5. Reddit

You probably think of Reddit as being home to cat forums and endless “Am I the Asshole?” posts but it’s also got a lot of NSFW sites, including r/BDSMpersonals, which is a low-risk way to meet BDSM singles. The only catch is that your initial interactions may be a little awkward.

Be sure to introduce yourself with a playful, flirty message rather than just “hello.” Remember that BDSM is about fun. It’s not just about being spanked or having your hands tied together – it’s about exploring new sexual boundaries in a safe way that both parties enjoy.

Kink encompasses a lot of different things, including bondage, choking, feet, and cuckolding. So, even if you’re not ready for a kink-specific app, try using Facebook or Twitter to find like-minded kinksters who share your interests. You can even do a search for BDSM or bondage communities in your city. Or, if you’re not interested in a formal kink relationship, you can try hiring a professional Dominatrix to give you the kink-y experience you’re looking for.